All major life events always have a story that coincides with them. If you need help thinking of what events these might be, you just need to think of what shows are currently on TLC...A Baby Story, A Wedding Story, My First Home...ok you get it! If you are like me, as soon as you pick up a new book and are a few chapters in, you have to resist the urge to flip to the last chapter to find out what happens to the main characters. If you know me, then you know I am a super impatient person, and also a big time planner. Just so you know, that is a HORRIBLE combination for someone who is considering adoption!
Anyway, something I have been very anxious about lately is being able to fully see our adoption story. What I mean by that is, we are at a point where a lot of decisions need to be made that will determine which path which choose to take during our journey through adoption. Lately it seems as though all of our discussions are surrounding which agency to use, using an adoption consultant vs. no consultant, and even more recently, international adoption possibilities. I feel as if one person asked me each day what we were thinking of doing, that my answer would be different each time they asked! The only thing that is keeping both of us sane during this time is knowing that luckily we are not the ones in control, but that God is in control. Proverbs 3:5 is a verse that is continuously running through my mind all of the time now for sure! As Michael and I were walking the other night, we were talking about adoption related things...(you know, the regular debate of how to go about adoption, financial needs, timeline, etc.,) when we started talking about how God has specifically provided for us just within the last few months. After graduation, I took the NCLEX and hadn't gotten a job right away...ok, not that I was doing giving the job hunt my best effort, but I was still looking! We knew that Grady's school tuition payments were to start in July, and without me having a job, we also knew that things would become very tight for us. Come July, I got a call to do some consulting work for my old employer that was for a few months that just happened to pay...you guessed it...the exact amount of Grady's school tuition. I also was blessed with a new job at our local hospital that started just two days after Grady went back to school, which meant that I was able to have a wonderful summer off with the kiddos! Now neither Michael or I could've orchestrated either one of those situations to work out they way they did ourselves, and thankfully we didn't have to...because He did.
So when my feathers get all ruffled, and I think that this whole adoption thing is crazy and we will never be able to really and truly know what to do and which path to choose that will complete our story, I take a moment and realize that I don't have all of the answers, and I don't have to have them. The one who can do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine whispers to me..."I got this." Because of this, I know that I can be content where we are in our story...right at chapter one, and that all we need to do is sit back and listen with open ears and an open heart to His direction and calling.
